Pale sunlight,
pale the wall.
Love moves away.
The light changes.
I need more grace
I need more grace
than I thought.
-Rumi
In my dream, I am alone, kneeling in an empty room. No
windows. No doors. I am speaking to a blank white wall and my voice echoes all
around me. My words reverberate against the bare ceiling, the bare floorboards. I
press my hand to the wall, because I feel that there is someone on the other
side of it. Listening.
I speak and speak. It’s not clear what it is that I am saying. I just know that the more I use my voice, the lighter my heart feels. Like bailing out a sinking boat one bucketful of water at a time. I press my hand to the blank wall and though I am alone in an empty room, I feel like I am being embraced. It is an overwhelmingly beautiful sensation to receive a grace such as this. Grace I never knew I needed. I speak and the weight of my heart lifts. I press my hand to the wall. On the other side, someone listens.
I never find out who is on the other side of the wall. The dream ends and I never find out who was there.
Maybe it was you. Maybe you were the one who was listening to me.
Thank you.
3 comments:
What you express and share has always stopped me DEAD in my tracks. It as if you already know where I am and yet simultaneously, you are simply just expressing your own travels/experiences.
How I relate to this dear Nicole. Often times in my loneliness, in my want/desire for another to "hear", maybe it was YOU.
Regardless, I certainly do hope you know there is SOMEONE listening and they DO hear you.
Thank you for sharing this as I feel so encumbered by my own silence and then static.
May you realize somewhere, somehow that your words via a cyber reality, touch many. And it isn't just one soul you touch. You touch many.
Such power and yet, you are so humble.
May you know you are so important and with grace.
Be well.
Thank you for sharing this, beautiful
I am also recovering from anorexia although I still really struggle with bulimia
I wish you all the best with your recovery x
Sensory and Ruby, thank you both so much. Your thoughtful words and your kindness means a great deal to me.
*hugs*
Nicole
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