Yesterday, the wind blew steadily at 60 miles per hour the entire day and it’s doing the same thing again today. I get really disoriented on days like this. I know it sounds strange, but the wind exhausts me. It becomes the only thing I can focus on, it’s loud and unceasing and it eats up all of my concentration. It bangs against the windows, so I open them and the curtains swell up and flap around like crazy. I shut them again and go outside where the wind chimes clank recklessly against the flailing tree branches while the grass blades bend and sway, almost like water rippling in a lake, only more clumsy, lacking any sort of rhythm or grace. I sit on the porch where the wind is somewhat blocked and I watch the sweeping gusts from my small pocket of stillness. I stare at the hordes of pear and cherry blossom petals blowing away from the trees, spraying out from the limbs like bright white snowflakes and pale pink raindrops.
It makes me sad.
The wind blows and blows. I sit and stare. My head is empty and I am drained.
I am sad.
Dust is everywhere. To give you an idea, here is the view from my kitchen window on a normal day:
And here is the view from the same window today:
Don’t ever live in the prairies.
Of course, this is nothing compared to what my grandmother and great grandparents lived through during the Dust Bowl of the 1930’s. They lived in the prairies of Eastern Colorado and the unending winds that cut through the flat lands created mass dust storms that were so thick they sometimes completely blocked out the sun. My grandmother had to use shovels to scoop out the dirt that would blow into their house through the windows and cracks in the doorways. It was so bad in those days that people suffered nervous breakdowns from battling the wind and dust on a daily basis, and many of them had to be committed to insane asylums as a result.
So I guess I shouldn’t complain.
I really hope you all are doing okay today. I know a lot of us are struggling right now, so I’m sending lots and lots of love out to all of you. You are in my thoughts <3
11 comments:
I know how you feel...it's strange the way one weather condition can completely consume us and distract us entirely. I love your descriptiveness, the words seem dance in perfect harmony. Wonderful post.
Ugh, that sounds like a HORRID place to live.
I hope your doing okay as well. :)
xx,
~Abby~
I wish I could make the wind ease up for you...hope you are alright...xxx
I hope it all eases up too soon. It is funny that I've noticed a lot of us have been feeling a little yucky lately with all sorts of things. I just wanted to say thanks for your lovely messages. They really did help and I'm feel so much better, yay for that! I hope you also feel a little better soon. Thinking of you!
*hugs*
Sarah
awww thanks Nicole:) your super sweet!
that sounds proper exhausting, and i can see how it would drag you down.Things like that can be soo consuming.it was really interesting to read as well-hell i feel sorry for your grandparents.
not on the same level at all-bt its real sunny where i live now-and with that comes the expectations that you should be outside enjoying it, not mooching away inside.
anyways il stop rambling now, sorry!!
love vic x
Oh lovely one you are much more interesting than I! But thank you so much for that comment because it made me smile in a way that only genuine feeling can inspire. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And we all take our pain to different places. We all experience things differently, have different experiences, that doesn't make them any less valid. Complain away! I don't see you as the kind of person who would complain just for the sake of doing so. Be well. :)
awww thanks chick:) your such a cutie:p
haha that christmas pic is jokes, i think im literally wearing all my favourite things at once!Actually christmas was pretty fun this year-spent it with my friends, and we just got up to no good:)
hope your ok my dear:)
love vics xxx
I got your letter. And I sent you one back <3
I am impressed and proud of you that you know your family history so well. Many people forget who they came from.
I needed that last part. I deleted my blog because I thought I had nothing more to say. But I have LOTS to say. I just would rather people not know. My heart feels so heavy. The letter you sent me made it lighter though. And I got a box of wonderful things from Bella today. Those two things plus re-reading the letter from FreeBird were the things that got me to 1 a.m. feeling like there are people in this world I can talk to and who care.
Thank you so much for that feeling.
I hope the weather improves and you have a wonderful day tomorrow and the next day and the next and next until you have so many days you can't even remember what a bad day feels like.
Lovely lovely love
XOXO
WF
I hope that the weather there could ease up a bit. I like your blog,the colour is lovely.
xx
Strange. Hearing wind always makes me want to run. But I never feel sad, just rather empty.
also, I must say this:
I LOVE YOU AND AM THINKING OF YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.
The views of where you live astound me. It's so...vast. I grew up in a town in Scotland (a 'main' town, for the region, but pretty small in comparison to others) where the view from the hill behind my house encompassed the majority of the town (it seemed large at the time, but neatly contained in a smallish valley). I find it bizzare to think that individual states can be multiple the size of the wee UK.
It wasn't the wind, but a few years ago I lived by the sea. I'd often walk down there at night. There was something about the darkness of it creeping up and down the beach that was so melancholy, like there was no need for words or thoughts because it just was. It just took over whatever you thought, and I'd stay there for ages, as if it took all my energy. I think at the time I was slightly addicted to its numbing capabilities, its offering of a sad calmness. I miss it, sometimes, because I haven't found anywhere quite like it or those times of brain-dump-shut-down. Sorry, you just reminded me of that.
It's amazing to hear about the effects of something like dust can have on the human psyche - how we can be overpowered and made so small by something even smaller.
I really do hope you are ok. I wish I could send little orbs of speckled brightness to perforate the dust clouds.
xx
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